With any loss, be it the loss of a loved one, of an opportunity, of material possessions that were dear to us, or of a capacity you no longer have, we naturally experience grief. We have enjoyed a certain gift of life in these areas and now it has been taken away from us, leaving an empty space that, seemingly, nothing can fill.
But there is another spirit that accompanies any grief over a loss, it’s the spirit of gratitude—gratitude for the gifts God gave you through these now-gone features of your life. And both these spirits—loss and gratitude—can find expression simultaneously as part of any grieving process.
Our sense of loss, of course, needs to be acknowledged and be given freedom to find expression in us. But gratitude for the gift of whatever has been lost should also be a part of this expression. It will be the ascending spirit that remembers all the goodness that God has blessed us with in the time we enjoyed His gift.
Our gratitude will redeem our loss from the potential of becoming a deep open wound in us. Instead it will serve as a springboard of praise to God for all that we have received through this temporary gift, as well as the ongoing gifts that can continue for the rest of our lives as we remember the blessings the Lord gave us throughout these.
To remain exclusively in a disposition of loss can possibly lead to a desolation where the natural expressions of grief become inordinately focused on the self and on my personal sense of loss. The obvious antidote to prevent this is the consolation of gratitude which turns our attention more to God than to self.
There is nothing wrong with personal grief unless it becomes our sole disposition. Gratitude for God’s gift to us in the things we have lost will ensure that we see our losses from both sides. And this interplay of grief and gratitude will widen our experience, allowing us to include God more fully as we negotiate our grief.
Rob Des Cotes
Imago Dei Christian Communities
FOR GROUP DISCUSSION:
How do you generally experience loss? Do you find a healthy balance of gratitude and grieving? Or do you find yourself imbalanced in one of these directions?
How might an overfocus on loss lead to a desolation where you become more and more self-focused as a result?
How does gratitude widen the experience of grief to include praise for God? How does it allow that which was lost to continue to minister to you?
FOR PRAYER: Take time to consider some loss in your life where you only have regrets for that which, seemingly, has been taken away from you. Seek and explore expressions of gratitude for the gifts He also provided you with through this same object of lost.