We look at the outward things, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1Sam. 16:7
Meditation written by Rob Des Cotes, Imago Dei Christian Communities.
For the past 14 years one of my spiritual disciplines has been to go on a yearly 8-day silent retreat. I see it as a time to recalibrate and make myself more available to God’s counsel and corrections. Having recently returned from such a retreat I’d like to share something important that the Lord taught me during this time about the proper order of relationships in my life.
I had been looking forward to this retreat for months, seeing it as a time to stand back from my life and re-examine all the things I am in relationship to. I want to be in “right relationship to all things” and had been sensing for a while that adjustments were needed. I felt overwhelmed in some areas of my life, perhaps over-committed, while likely under-committed in other areas. The main problem was that I was no longer objectively related to my life. Everything seemed too close for me to be able to stand back and properly assess it. This is how I pictured it.
I had imagined this week of silence to be an opportunity to look at each of these relationships and make adjustments as needed. But instead, the Lord started working in me from the inside out. He began clearing out the center of my life, creating space within me, like a protective bubble, and asserting the primacy of His temple in my heart. I learned once again, as God has so often taught me, that the dis-order I felt within had less to do with the things I was related to as with my attachment to them. These relationships had inordinately entered my heart in such a way that they were now defining me more than me defining them.
Day by day, I felt the Lord hollowing me out. He restored a “simple center” in me—a tabernacle where only He and I dwelt. And from that simple center I could now look at my life more objectively. This second image is what it felt like compared to my previous state.
Looking back I see that I had been trying to repair my relationships from the wrong end. Instead of adjusting the things outside of me the Lord simply re-established the sacred space of His temple within me. And from this restored simplicity I could now form a right relationship to my circumstances that was no longer at the expense of my relationship with God.
My practice of daily prayer certainly provides opportunity to establish and maintain God’s temple within me. It helps me remain objective in all my relationships. But I also appreciate, more than ever, the benefit that a deep spring cleaning brings to my life. It helps get rid of all the accumulated clutter that has entered my inner sanctuary, where only God and I need exist.
Rob Des Cotes
Imago Dei Christian Communities
Christ, love of all loving
Fire that burns within me
My heart lives once more
Hallelujah
-Brother Roger of Taizé
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FOR GROUP DISCUSSION:
- Which of these two images do you most relate to as a description of your inner life? What relationships in your life are defining you more than they should be?
- How do you relate to the phrase, “the dis-order I felt within had less to do with the things I was related to as with my attachment to them?” What is needed in order for you to return to a more detached relationship to the circumstances of your life?
- Have you experienced the benefits of a silent retreat before? Is this something that the Lord might be inviting you to consider this summer?
FOR PRAYER: In prayer take time to stand back from your life in order to examine the relationships that presently feel overwhelming for you. Ask God to create space, a “protective bubble” in you so that these relationships no longer clutter your heart but are more objectively placed outside your “simple center.”
Imago Dei Christian Community www.imagodeicommunity.ca To receive these weekly meditations by e-mail contact imago@shaw.ca.
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